Chronic Insomnia
What do you do when you start only sleeping every three or four days, and you have an eleven and seven-year-old and a full-time paying job? How about when you have tried most sleep medicines that either did not work or kept you awake rather than put you to sleep?
Suffering from insomnia on and off most of my whole life, if I am stressed or traveling, it flares up. During my first severe bout in my twenties I discovered CBT which had worked really well for about 15 years. This second severe episode of insomnia started after my mom died about seven years ago. I had developed grief, a night cough which kept me from sleeping much for six months.
Benzos and Melatonin Fail
My primary doctor gave me Xanax and recommended melatonin to help me sleep and get through the grief period. Both of these medicines worked at first but then stopped, resulting in trips to the doctor trying various sleep medicines both Trazodone and Remeron are used more for depression. They are not addictive like benzodiazepines and hypnotics can be.
Unfortunately for me, Trazodone kept me awake all night tossing and turning. Remeron made me feel like a truck ran over me, leaving me with the more dangerous and addictive sleeping medicines. The benzodiazepines did work at first but I quickly started developing tolerance.
The Bottom
My insomnia is about trouble falling asleep rather than waking up in the middle of the night. I am not one of those who do fine with no sleep. I feel physically unwell, nauseous and unable to think. After using these for about six months, my functional anxiety disorder spiraled out of control, leaving me with worse insomnia and panic attacks in the middle of the night.
The handful of times I tried pot in college with a roommate who swore it made her mellow and smooth, ironing out her sometimes crippling anxiety. Unfortunately, it didn’t go well for me, changing me from an introvert into a paranoid recluse hiding in my closet, hating the world, or chasing my roommate from room to room, unable to be alone. If you haven’t experienced it, paranoia is one of the worst mental states on the planet.
CNN's "Weeds"
Right around the time my insomnia was at its worst, I remembered the “Weeds “ episode I had watched on CNN a few years before. I remembered the marijuana specifically the CBD had helped Charlotte with her seizures.
I’ve been aware that people on this planet were using marijuana for “medicinal” purposes like pain with end-of-life cancer or HIV, not something that felt relevant to my life. Something those old-school hippies with dead brain cells might do, but not something I should do. It was the first time I had seen a mainstream neurologist on a mainstream news organization talking about “weed” as a medicine.
Dravet Syndrome and CBD
That episode, in particular, was about a two-year-old girl named Charlotte Figi who had been diagnosed with a devastating seizure disorder called Dravet Syndrome. Children with Dravet Syndrome die in early childhood. The seizures can be fatal and cause lasting damage to the brain.
The usual medications for Dravet Syndrome didn’t help. In fact, they made the syndrome worse, sometimes even stopping her heart. Dozens of high-powered drugs had already been tried and failed.
I kept thinking, “How are these “safe” for children and marijuana isn’t?” I stared at the T.V. Charlotte’s seizures were constant, 300 a week. I couldn’t move.
Her military dad had connected online to some other parents having success treating it with marijuana. Her mom had been unwilling to try it, at first, sticking with more traditional treatments. Like most of us, society had taught her to believe that marijuana was a dangerous drug with no medicinal value. You would never give to a child.
CBD Saves Charlotte
When all the family had left to try was a high-powered veterinary medicine for epileptic dogs or a medically induced coma, the family decided to try CBD. I watched as Charlotte took the CBD drops, and went from catatonic seizures to a normal girl sitting on her mom’s lap reading a book. She had no seizures that day or night. After a week, she was down to one seizure a week, with zero side effects from the CBD. It’s shocking to watch, and nothing shocks me. I sat, letting these facts drift down to my consciousness. Wait a minute; marijuana can cure. It cured this little girl.
On Wikipedia, I looked up CBD, otherwise known as Cannabidiol but did not find much. Research on CBD is illegal. “CBD is a cannabis compound that has significant medical benefits but does not make people feel “stoned” and can counteract the psychoactivity of THC.” So why is it not legal to research this substance?
Maybe CBD had something to offer me. So, I started frantically googling medicinal marijuana, CBD, insomnia… I learned they were making high CBD products these days in the Bay Area medicinal marijuana world. Online I came across a CBD website that listed 15 conditions they thought CBD could help due to its anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties: Parkinson’s, MS, anxiety, asthma, cancer, heart disease, insomnia, PTSD, ADHD, and Autism.
Cannabis Developed To Hide Medicinal Properties
THC is the psychoactive part of cannabis. In 2015 the cannabis plant had 212 % more THC than it did in 1999. On the other hand, the CBD content has fallen on average from approximately 28% in 2001 to 14%. This makes it a much more unhealthy dangerous product and is not even good for any medical conditions at that high percentage of THC.
Big Pharma and Alcohol Companies Lobbied Against
I am thinking of the stereotype I have of the typical lazy, stupid, stoner stereotype. I googled “Who is lobbying against marijuana legalization?” The alcohol industry, Big Pharma, police, and prisons have all lobbied to keep cannabis illegal. To make people afraid of marijuana because Big Pharma does not want us to grow something in our backyard that is superior to the crap they give us.
Maybe Big Pharma had some part in increasing the THC and decreasing the CBD to make marijuana look unappealing and more dangerous while hiding its healing properties.
The medical profession has been concerned with the link between psychosis and cannabis attempting to entangle the two to see which came first. Current research shows that if you under 25 and have a family member with schizophrenia avoiding high THC products until your brain is fully developed is important.
Politico article among others mention alcohol companies lobbying against cannabis being legal. They don’t want to compete against something you could grow in your backyard and won’t kill you. It does not give you a hangover, it can cure hangovers. According to the CDC, alcohol kills more than 95,000 a year in the US from alcohol poisoning alone, let alone drunk driving. No one has ever overdosed on cannabis.
Nixon’s Racist Drug Policies
I stumbled across a quote from a 2016 Harper’s Magazine story in which Nixon’s Chief Domestic Advisor John Ehrlichman told the author: “You want to know what this was all about? “The Nixon campaign in 1968, and the Nixon White House after that had two enemies: the antiwar left and black people. Do you understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course, we did.”
It was Nixon’s administration had made marijuana a Schedule 1 drug. That is a category for drugs so dangerous and addictive that there can be no research on them. Why would there even be that category of medicine? How can marijuana be too dangerous when no one has ever died from it.
Cannabis Used Safely Since Ancient Times
Throughout history, a record exists of all ancient cultures that have used cannabis for medicinal purposes, and in Medieval times, and Queen Victoria wrote about using it for menstrual cramps.
Healer.com
Searching on the internet, I found a Dr. Sulak and his website Healer.com a reputable alternative medicine practitioner on Healer.com who explains how the cannabis receptors work to heal the body and why CBD might so beneficial for so many illnesses, ” Cannabis can work synergistically with the endocannabinoids produced inside the body to bring the body into homeostasis. Cannabis, unlike other synthetic medications, works in harmony with the body to bring it into health by obtaining equilibrium. “
How can I be college-educated 50 and never heard of us having cannabis receptors in our bodies? Dr. Sulak’s website had extensive information on dosage and how to sensitize yourself to THC through micro-dosing.
CBD Saves Me Too
His website convinced me that I needed to try some cannabis again. A few years ago, only medicinal marijuana was legal in California. I couldn’t go to just any doctor. So, to visit the marijuana dispensary, I needed to Skype with the “special” medical marijuana doctor. I had tried previously to bring it up to my doctors, they wouldn’t even discuss it with me.
Googling on the internet, I found a medical marijuana doctor who Skyped with me and prescribed it without hassle. She recommended something high in CBD, but it wasn’t for any specific product. Instead, the prescription said “medical marijuana.” At this point, I didn’t understand the difference between CBD and THC, a bunch of letters swimming around my brain.
I looked online at a dispensary in Berkeley, but there were hundreds of products and unknown vocabulary: tinctures, vape cartridges, sublingual sprays. It wasn’t cheap to try anything either — from what I could gather; I could get something like two gummy bears for $25.
My brain was confused to the point of shut-down, but I’d figured out enough to know I wanted tincture or capsules, and my friend offered to drive me and my sleep-deprived brain there. I’d found a brand Care by Design that seemed reputable –not selling snake oil anyway.
The next day I found a slot in my schedule with enough time to get to Berkeley when my kids are at school. My heart was beating so loud I could hardly hear. “I need something to help me sleep,” I shouted out. The lady looked at me blankly and didn’t offer any suggestions. I resisted the urge to run out crying.
“Do you have Care by Design 18 to 1 capsule or oil?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said.
I grabbed the plain white bottle and stuffed everything in my purse. I didn’t know if what I had would work.
At home, I was petrified but desperate. I finally grabbed a capsule and gulped it down, thinking about Charlotte and her medicinal cure. The digestive system digests the capsule slowly and about 45 minutes and then another two to three hours before it hits its peak. I braced myself for the unknown.
I laid listlessly on the bed, trying to distract myself by watching SNL reruns. At this point, I am not sure if I feel worse physically or mentally, checking the clock every five minutes. After an hour and a half, I got up and went downstairs. I get pissed because it hasn’t worked. I feel nothing. I go downstairs pissed that I wasted $100 on those dumb voodoo pills.
It took me another few minutes to realize. I don’t feel tired, no crushing headache. It’s weird, but I feel like I slept for eight hours. I don’t feel anxious or depressed. Instead, I felt good, like someone just melted away my symptoms. Something I haven’t felt for a few months. I felt hope.
CBD Erases Benzo Withdrawal Symptoms
Next, I started trying to wean off the Temazepam, and I was getting these wicked pounding, skin-crawling anxiety attacks mixed with mood swings that would begin at two p.m. when the Temazepam would wear off, and the attack wouldn’t stop until I retook it at night time.
I started taking CBD capsules right when the Temazepam was wearing off, and it was magic. I didn’t even feel tired or that terrible pounding anxiety, no hangover, no worsening of the anxiety. For some people, CBD didn’t make them sleepy, relaxed, just relaxed and focused, like the perfect cup of coffee. My anxiety – gone.
I hope that this blog will be of hope to those of you with mental health issues and I have suffered from ADHD, depression, and anxiety my whole life and hard time with the corruption in our medical system and finding someone to trust. I am not a doctor but patients usually know more about their disease and what it is like to live with it than most doctors do. I am hopeful that we are at a turning point with cannabis and we have it legalized soon and we can catch up on all of the research we have not been doing. Until we have more answers I hope to be a resource and explain complicated issues in a non-technical way.
